So I'm sick of my parents, mainly my mother, not getting that when I'm flaring and yes I've told her/him which specific body parts are currently killing me - tonight happens to be that I have these huge bundles of knots in either shoulder, up on top of the blade and it's the same muscle that goes down along either side of my spine and back up my neck to my head. The knots and muscles will not relax, some heat is helping but nothing else is working - my Soma is just making me sleepy and at least I got a nap in before bed.
But before dinner, I told them both what was going on because they don't get it when I say that I'm 'flaring'. That should be an indication that I'm in more pain than normal - I feel like they just ignore the reality of my situation and go about their lives with no concern about mine. The only thing my mom did today was offer me to heat up a shoulder wrap but then after dinner, I'm nauseous, on the couch with a ice pack and bundled up, not moving - my says, good night and oh by the way, I hope you won't be surprised that we're leaving you the dishes to do! What the fuck??! I think. What part of my shoulders and neck are killing me and why can't she connect the dots and know that my shouders are connected to my arms and those aren't working right because of the pain in my shoulders?? Now you're expecting me to be able to do the dishes, which involves lifting pretty heavy plates and hot water and greasy food. Sounds exactly like what I want to be doing on top of my pain. I'm just astonished. I don't understand at all why two very abled human beings can't take over chores like dishes from someone who normally does them (yes, I usually do the dishes but NOT when i'm hurting so much!). Do I really need to make a list of all of the things I shouldn't be doing when I'm in any kind of pain that is above normal? I guess so! I just don't know what to do anymore! I'm sick of this bullshit!
So if any fibro people have any suggestions for dealing with parents, please fill me in. Yes, I still live with my parents - moved home two summers ago after having lived with my boyfriend for 3 years - he's up in Oregon now and it sucks but this is what I needed at the tiem. I'm seriously looking into moving to the Portland area now, as I'm one of the few lucky Fibro people who can actually stand the cold AND I do better with cold weather and rain. I can't stand and I actually get sick now from the heat + humidity or mugginess, which we've been having here in sucky California - yes, I hate this state now. I dont' want to live here anymore, I want to be where it is green all the time and I don't have to make an effort to stay out of the sun much and people are nice :) But in the meantime, I still have ot deal with my non-understanding conditionally loving parents - who of course would deny not loving me unconditionally but it's true, that they do love under their rules, their conditions, when I'm in their home. It's stressful and it sucks and my only positive result is that they are gone at least one week each month, sometimes longer, so I get the house to myself very often. That is my trade off for the time being. Come beginning of the new year of 2008, I will be taking a trip to Portland to check it out, hang out with old friends who are there now and seeing where I can move to.
